When you don’t remember a person’s name it gives that person the impression that you are not important to them. In order to develop our network of friends and acquaintances, it is necessary to learn the names of the people we meet or else we cannot deepen relationships.
When meeting a new person shake their hand and make sure to repeat their name two times as you introduce yourself to them. Saying the name just two times is barely noticeable to the other person, whereas saying the name more times than this will stand out and may seem excessive or as if you are trying too hard..
In the first moment of meeting a new person, often we are overly concerned about thinking about what to say to the extent that we give little thought to the person’s name when we hear them say it. When this happens we will quickly forget the name of the new person. A good thing to do is to keep conversation very simple at this first moment of meeting them so that you can focus some of your attention on remembering their name.
The next step is to give the person an adjective/describing word that is the same letter of the person’s name. For example, ‘brilliant Benjamin’ or ‘jumpy Jade.’ If possible, create an image of the person in your mind’s eye that reflects their adjective (Benjamin wears bright blue sunglasses so I am able to imagine him as a brilliant superhero flying through the sky).
One final trick to use in order to remember a name is to associate the person with a famous person who shares their name. Making as many associations as possible will serve to embed your memory of the person’s names deeper and deeper, making it easy to recall whenever you need it in the future.
According to conversation skills expert Benjamin, confidence is a state of being. For us to be able to access a confident state, we need to make sure that we have all the basics in place. This means that we should make an effort with our appearance and wear clothes in which we feel confident.
To be confident in conversation we should also seek to hold a positive mindset in our interactions. This means making an effort to focus on what is good in our lives and sharing that with others as part of conversation. When a person has a negative mindset and looks for the worst in everything all the time, it is draining for other people who may not know what to say to the negative person.
To hold a positive mindset in conversation, it’s good to talk about the activities you have been doing recently. By talking about the things you have been doing and not your feelings, you may be able to maintain a more positive mindset.
To speak with confidence, it’s also essential to pay attention to your tone of voice. Seek to bring as much energy as possible to your voice as it will make what you are saying much more interesting and engaging to the people to whom you are speaking.
To set free your inner voice try this voice training exercise from the Method School of Acting, which would have been practised by actors like Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino. The idea of this exercise is to develop a voice that is deeply grounded in the body, carrying with it a deep, powerful resonance. A grounded voice voice is rich and deep – that’s very different to a voice that resonates in the head, which is like a nerd voice.
Let Your Inner Voice Out – Voice Exercise:
Sit in a chair and lean back so that your neck hangs at the back over the chair.
Roll your neck, shoulders, waist and circle your legs.
As you make the circlular undulating movements say ‘ahhh’ with your voice as deep down in your body as you can.
Whenever you feel the energy build up and you want to release say ‘ha!’
You should continue the exercise for around 15 minutes.
The exercise will deeply relax you therefore it is good to energize yourself after with some body patting up and down your legs, waist and arms.
To be dynamic and charismatic people we need voices that show that we are engaged with life and that we communicate our desires to people. This means that we have energy and also a full range of expression in the voice. Benjamin’s dynamic voice training exercise shows you how you can bring passion to your voice like a Shakespearean actor.
Benjamin recommends using famous lines from Shakespeare because the characters are in extreme situations. This means that we can be dramatic and passionate when performing the lines. In his exercise we see how the same line can be read in a number of ways to show different feelings. With Benjamin’s instruction, I am shown how to bring dynamism to the line in different ways through experiment with tone of voice. We should then bring this dynamism to our everyday speech to make a dynamic impression.