Toxic voices are extremely common. When a voice is toxic, it is draining to hear or listen to. The draining influence of a toxic voice affects all people within earshot by creating tension and spreading a low mood. However, only sensitive people can directly feel the icky, draining quality of the toxic voice in the moment that it is speaking.

Sensitives are best advised to avoid or disengage from conversations with people who have toxic voices. When sensitives have good boundaries, this happens naturally, as the sensitive will not want to engage in any kind of prolonged conversation with the toxic voice. Or, if they must interact occasionally, for example because the person with the toxic voice is a relative or colleague, then the sensitive learns to disengage from ‘draining conversations,’ which only encourage the person with the toxic voice to offload on them and to drain.

When I’m out in the real world, for example in a coffee shop, and I encounter a draining voice, my attitude towards that person is reserved. The reason for this is to keep my distance and to prevent any sense of familiarity from building up between us. While toxic voices cannot be avoided out in the real world, it is possible to prevent such a person from seeking out your attention in possible future encounters. The last thing you want to do is to give the draining voice your full attention. However, if the draining voice belongs to someone you care about, you may DECIDE to give them attention from time to time as a form of love. But this kind of sacrifice is not owed to strangers.

All voices are draining sometimes. However, a toxic voice is always draining.

All people are negative sometimes. Whereas, a toxic voice is negative about everything all the time.

It is not possible to change someone you know if you identify him or her as having a toxic voice. However, it is possible to detoxify your own voice. This comes down to cleansing yourself from negativity and detoxifying yourself. Note: I’m not advocating that you pretend to live in a ‘positive bubble’, merely that you find a healthy balance in which you can see the good in life, as well as the bad.

Here follow some practical things you can do to detoxify yourself and your voice:

  • Take a break from any kind of news (30 days is a good starting point)
  • Take a course of detoxifying supplements
  • Take supplements for candida and reduce sugars and processed foods in your diet
  • Take a nightly bath and scrub your skin. Soak long enough until the top layer of your skin rubs off
  • Don’t give in to the lure of toxic conversations: disengage, avoid, or label it a ‘draining conversation’. Only when you are healthier and your energy is better can you handle a little negativity now and then.
  • Leave social media
  • Listen to uplifting music
  • Walk in nature, especially in forests or woods
  • Train yourself to notice and appreciate the small, beautiful things or moments in everyday life. For example, the sight of a cute baby. These things are your food.
  • End friendships or slowly detach from spending time with people who moan and complain all the time
  • Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take action

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Jade Joddle is a speech and voice teacher for high-level professionals. She teaches her non-native speaker clients to Speak Well so that they thrive and succeed.

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