How to Use Words Wisely – Speaking Skills and Communication

A conscious communicator is someone who recognises the power of their words and therefore uses them carefully. You use your words mindfully to achieve the things you want in life.


Most people are not conscious communicators. You don’t need to be clever to learn how to change the way you communicate, but you will need to develop a different attitude. This new attitude means that you stop being so attached to your words. You realise that words are never perfect to express what we want to say. Words fail us all the time.

A conscious communicator realises that the reason we have arguments and disagreements is because language so often fails us. You know that you will not always be able to make someone understand your exact meaning. This means you constantly observe your own language and reflect on how you can make your own communication better. You learn by observing your communication. You steadily become more conscious of the power of your words.

Being a conscious communicator has nothing to do with learning new words or vocabulary. What it actually means is that you adapt your language according to the situation you are in. You are less concerned about projecting an image of yourself such as ‘intelligent’ and focused instead on getting your message across to the person to whom you are speaking. You are fluid in the way you use language and adapt the way you speak so that you match the company you are with.

On a personal level, it’s good for the relationships in your life because you stop being so attached to the things you say. This makes you negotiate arguments and communication breakdowns more effectively. You stop blaming other people and accusing others of being wrong. You take a different perspective where you think about your communication in general, and you look for patterns, to help you understand how you can communicate more constructively in the future. Most of all, it’s more important for you to communicate well than it is for you to be right.

On a practical level, it means that you have to become mindful of what you say. You can start to become a conscious communicator by thinking first about how you will perform in any speaking situation. For example, you think about your speaking performance before you make a phone call and decide beforehand what you want to project about yourself. You decide you want to appear positive and cheery, therefore that is the tone of voice you will have during the call. Or, you decide that you will introduce yourself in a new way, to see what the effect is.

There are no rules when you become a conscious communicator. You learn by experiment and by constantly seeking to make improvements here and there, as you gain knowledge about communication. Only you can decide the areas of your speech that you need to work on and improve by becoming a conscious communicator. Remember, you don’t need to be intelligent. You just need to look at the way you communicate from a new perspective.

For more tips on conscious communication, watch the video on passive aggression below:

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Jade Joddle is an accent trainer and English teacher. She teaches her non-native speaker clients to Speak Well in English so that they thrive and succeed.

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