Understanding Introverts and Alone Time

When I spend time around people in social situation or just around people in general, I absorb the energy of the place and the way people feel in it. This makes me lose my balance and I don’t feel like my normal self. I don’t like feeling this way, which has led me to make choices in my life where I can protect my need for alone time.

Before I knew how sensitive I was to the disruptive energy of other people, I used to have normal jobs where I worked around a lot of people. This was difficult for me as I would always feel very drained. I never had energy left for myself after a day at work.

I don’t like to be alone all the time. I do like to connect with people very deeply. But I can only do this at particular times. I can’t socialise all the time. I have to choose my relationships and how much I am willing to engage with people. I have found that being ‘selfish’ about the way that I socialise allows me to maintain my energy. The rest of the time I am happiest alone.

Due to the fact that I am a highly introverted person, it can cause problems in relationships. As an introvert in a relationship with an extrovert, I found that my need for alone time was not understood. If you are in a relationship with an extrovert, they may misinterpret your need for alone time as being a sign that you don’t care about them or that you don’t want to spend time with them. This is not true. It’s just that you need a lot of time alone so that you can recharge your energy.

I have also experienced being in a relationship with someone even more introverted than I am. This didn’t really work. We each needed so much alone time that it didn’t really feel like a relationship. It can work if you have an equal need for social interaction.

As an introvert, it’s difficult to be in a relationship because you have to lose a lot of alone time and your partner may not understand this. This is a difficult thing to adjust to and can stop you from having normal relationships because you are reluctant to share your time with another person.

If you’re in a relationship with an introvert and you are an extrovert, try to understand that your introverted partner needs a lot of time and space to be alone. It doesn’t mean that you are not loved. However, if you find this very difficult to deal with, you have to realise that this problem in your relationship isn’t going to go away. Introverts need alone time to keep calm and balanced. Demanding an introvert to spend time with you will make them feel stressed and ignores the introvert’s need to recharge by themselves. You will both need to compromise a little.

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Jade Joddle is a speech and voice teacher for high-level professionals. She teaches her non-native speaker clients to Speak Well so that they thrive and succeed.

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