In this article for introverts, you will learn how to talk in a group. Learn a strategy for speaking more in group situations. Apply this strategy to improve your conversation skills, and to enjoy socialising more as an introvert.
Introverts are happiest when they are talking just on a one-to-one level or with two people they know well. Many introverts feel uncomfortable in group conversations, finding that they don’t know what to say.
Introverts tend to be passive in group situations, which means that they don’t assert their needs. For example, they usually don’t steer the conversation or make the decisions about what the group is going to do next. While some introverts perhaps don’t mind being socially passive, the downside is that it result in boring or draining social interactions.
How to Talk More in a Group
To talk more in group situations, introverts must change their natural tendency to be passive in group situations. Nothing is going to change if you just wait until other people decide to involve you in the conversation. Most people are mainly interested in themselves, which means they aren’t going to be asking you lots of questions to bring you into the conversation. To be part of the conversation, ask more questions and give more opinions.
Not Knowing What to Say in a Group
When introverts find themselves in group situation, their minds sometimes go blank because they don’t know what to say. There are many triggers that can cause an introvert to become quiet and withdraw into themselves. For example, it could be that conversation is moving too quickly, or because you don’t know everybody who is present in the group. When this happens, it’s important to focus on your breath to bring yourself back into the present moment.
“Group Conversations are Boring” When You’re Not Included
I have heard many introverts say that the reason they don’t like group conversations is because they are boring. The nature of group conversations is that they tend to be on the surface level of things. When most people chat in a group, they don’t want to share deeply personal insights or talk about issues that require a lot of thought. It is important to consider that when joining a group conversation: you will have to meet people at their level and possibly adapt your conversation style.
Strategy to Talk in a Group
Talking more in groups begins by pushing your comfort zone a little so that you make more effort to speak to people. The easiest way to do this is to have a ‘side conversation’ with the person next to you. This is like having a mini conversation within the bigger group.
A side conversation with someone you don’t know requires you to push your comfort zone a lot more than having a side conversation with your best friend. Whoever you decide to chat to, it’s important that you don’t attach yourself to this person for the whole evening. This is why, if possible, you should move on when your conversation comes to a natural end. You can then begin a side conversation with someone else.
When following a one-to-one ‘side conversation’ strategy in groups, it’s important not to get stuck in one single seat or corner of the room. This is because you will only manage to talk to the people right next to you, unless you move at some point. Another reason you should not stay for too long inconversation is because this will exclude you from the wider group.
You should also bear in mind the fact that extroverts don’t like being stuck in deep and meaningful conversation when there are lots of people around. This is why you should never take it personally if the person to whom you are speaking shows signs of being bored, and wanting to include other people in the conversation.
How to Make Small Talk in a Group
Before entering the group situation, it’s a good idea to prepare by choosing 2 or 3 topics of conversation that you are comfortable to discuss in a group. When joining in with these topics, you don’t need to think of anything amazing to say. Common small talk topics include the following:
Extend Your Learning
◼️ Watch my lesson on How to Speak with Charisma by Practising Shakespeare.
◼️Watch my lesson on How to Speak Confidently.
◼️Learn Useful Phrases for Conversations via Benjamin at EngVid.
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