Introvert Energy Drain Rule Number Six – Create Healthy Boundaries

It is important for introverts to maintain good boundaries with others for their wellbeing. In one sense, this is because introverts are often empathic and may unconsciously absorb the moods and feelings of the people around them, which can be disruptive and compromise their sense of peace. An introvert often finds their balanced state of mind is made unsettled when in the company of people who exhibit strong emotions. This happens when an introvert does not have good psychic boundaries. Unconsciously, they pick up on other people’s emotional “stuff” that has nothing to do with them. Absorbing other people’s emotions is intensely draining for the introvert, and they will need to spend time alone in tranquility to cleanse themselves of the other person’s negativity.

Once an introvert has learnt to maintain good boundaries for their self-protection, they are able to assert themselves and say “no” when necessary. Introverts who are able to do this recognize that they must strive to take care of their own needs first. Once their own needs are met and they feel balanced and strong, they are able to spend their excess energy generously on others. However, introverts who haven’t yet learned the power of saying “no” will constantly find themselves being obligated to do things, being pulled in all directions, until they are drained and exhausted. Reaching the point of exhaustion is best avoided by introverts altogether. This is because once their energy reaches such a low ebb, they become negative and irritable themselves, which only serves to escalate any conflict or drama.

People who have a hard time saying “no” are also known as people pleasers. Such people feel that it is their duty to go out of their way to serve other people, even if doing so means that they are overstretched financially or energetically. By constantly putting the needs of others before their own, the people-pleasing introvert is often taken advantage of by takers who see them as a source of easy energy supply. On one level, the spirit of generosity or even selflessness you see in a people pleaser is a beautiful thing. However, the truth about people-pleasing tendencies is that, at a core level, the person struggles with issues of self-esteem. Their endless, self-abnegating service to others is a manifestation of their core belief of not being good enough or feeling unworthy to be loved. More than this, people pleasing is not good for either party. The people pleaser feels used up and exhausted, whereas the taker becomes dependent and incapable of meeting their own needs, thereby losing their personal power. Therefore going forward, work to put yourself and your own needs first.

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Jade Joddle is a speech and voice teacher for high-level professionals. She teaches her non-native speaker clients to Speak Well so that they thrive and succeed.

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