Guest Post by Michaela Chung from Introvert Spring

Sometimes we introverts struggle to express ourselves in conversation. We know we have plenty of interesting thoughts to share. But spitting them out is another story. Often we mumble, stutter, or don’t get the words out in time.

I don’t want the world to miss out on all the interesting mind gems you’ve been storing away in your beautiful brain. That’s why I’m sharing 4 easy and super effective ways for introverts to speak with more confidence.

(1) Ditch the beggar’s mindset

Often, introverts go into a conversation with what I call the “beggar’s mindset”. That is to say we think that people are doing us a favor by talking to us. In the back of our mind, we are telling ourselves, “They don’t really want to talk to me, they’re just being polite.”

When we think this way, we come off as either aloof, or insecure.  Confident conversation skills begin with the right mindset. Instead of thinking that you are taking something from someone when you talk to them, imagine that you are the giver.

Believe it or not, your time and attention are precious.  When you go into a conversation knowing that you are offering someone a gift by being truly present with them, you naturally give off a self-assured vibe.

(2) Give yourself permission to share

How many times have you been talking to someone just hoping that they would ask you the right questions?  You waited for an invitation to share your dreams, passions, or something really cool that happened to you, but they didn’t ask.  So, you didn’t share.

The problem is that often people won’t give us a direct invitation to talk about ourselves. A lot of my students and coaching clients have told me they struggle with this.  “I just let them steer the conversation,” they say, “if they don’t ask, I don’t tell.”

I know you don’t want to become like those overbearing extroverts who over-share.  Don’t worry, a few honest revelations about yourself will make you feel and appear more confident, which brings me to my next point …

(3) A little honesty, please!

When talking to others it can feel like we have an invisible shield around us. Introverts are so used to protecting ourselves from energy vampires that we forget how to let our guard down.  A little bit of straight up honesty is the best way to break down barriers quickly.

You don’t have to get into the deep, dark, secret stuff.  Share an honest opinion, or feeling.  If you’re worried about being judged for your preferences, just say so.

I have a friend who loves to drink the juice from the tuna can (ugh). The first time she did it in front of me, she said, “you might think this is gross, but I love to drink the tuna juice. So, if you think it’s gross, you better not look, because I’m gonna drink it right now.” Then she slurped it down without a hint of embarrassment. “Mmmm, I love it.” That not only showed confidence, but it was also endearing.

(4) Take a deep breath and …

Relax, for goodness sake! A lot of introverts get all tightly wound and worried in conversation.  We have a tendency to overthink things.  Being a confident conversationalist starts with getting out of your head and into the present moment.  When you feel yourself starting to overthink things, take a deep breath, and relax into the now.


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