In this video I mainly talk about the example of ‘helping’ people in relation to my job. For example, when somebody writes to me asking for information. However, the idea of helping people with boundaries is also something I apply more broadly in my life.

Having ‘helping boundaries’ means that you do not help someone anytime they want something from you simply because they asked for something. It means reflecting on whether the ‘help’ the person is asking for will actually serve them in the long run.

I discovered through my own life experience that when you go out of your way for entitled and demanding people, what you do for them is never enough. Either they come back the next day and ask for something more, or they complain that what they received was not good enough. You could give them the earth, but yet they would feel hard done by and cheated.

Now, before I ‘help’ people I check the level of the person’s entitlement. This is an internal feeling that I get about the person and is not a straight out judgement according to whatever labels the person might have.

NOTE: for me ‘help’ means doing something extra for someone that means going beyond what I already do for people in general and what I do gladly. For me there is a base level of assistance that I would give to anybody without questioning it. However, ‘help’ for me means giving that particular person my particular focus and energy, which is not something I do for all people.


Click for Speaking Skills Practice: Download Video Transcript

About the Author:

My name is Jade Joddle and I teach about speech. Browse around my site for topics related to speaking skills and self-expression.


  1. Anto April 29, 2017 at 18:11 - Reply

    I just want to give you my support!! you are great. I moved out to London a year ago and you maybe don´t know but you are helping me so much…energyyyyy babyyy ; )

  2. Ahmed April 28, 2017 at 22:21 - Reply

    how is your health now?

  3. Davetta April 7, 2016 at 18:20 - Reply

    Hi Jade, would you mind sharing any tips to prevent being a person?

    • Jade Joddle April 7, 2016 at 18:36 - Reply

      I really don’t think you are a mememe person if you asked this question. In what sense do you think this applies to you? If you answer that I might be able to say more. If you want me to leave your reply private so it does not show in the blog page let me know in your next comment.

  4. Gergely April 7, 2016 at 11:37 - Reply

    I like your channel because of 1. Your accent, voice, and your English is natural, but not slang, 2. introvert stuff and INTJ subject 3. you are strange in a good manner.
    4. I recommend you a very good movie, have you ever seen it? Spring, summer, fall, winter … and spring. That’s a movie about life and an old monk who lives in a little house on the lake.
    5. The fifth is empty for further content.

    • Jade Joddle April 7, 2016 at 12:29 - Reply

      No I haven’t seen that movie. I don’t watch many movies but let’s see maybe I will watch this one.

  5. Tommy April 5, 2016 at 00:35 - Reply

    Hi Jade
    I’ve only subscribed to you on YouTube ,and your blog since early this year.
    Since then I have learned a lot and a lot about myself. Your video’s and articles
    really seem to encourage me to learn more about things I thought I new a fair bit about and things
    that I new next to nothing about. You seem to have woken a long repressed thirst for knowledge
    in me thank you.

    • Jade Joddle April 5, 2016 at 07:36 - Reply

      Good to hear that Tommy. You were the first to tell me about prepping. 🙂

  6. The Paranoid Android April 4, 2016 at 22:58 - Reply

    Maybe you too are a “me-me-me” kind of person, cause you always talk about yourself!

    • Jade Joddle April 5, 2016 at 07:35 - Reply

      This is Jade Joddle Speaking Skills and I am the central subject.

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